Sunday, November 16, 2014

An Adventurous Sunday - Full of Life

In my recent blog posts, I can only see some extreme ideological based posts, posts that none in the world understands and such. So here writing on a regular Sunday, that is mashed up with awesome activities in Chennai :-) Associate yourself with couple of NGOs and contribute a little of your time for the betterment of the society and Life would be awesome in ways, which YOU CAN NEVER IMAGINE :-) (y)

Alarm at 3.30 AM !

Its been months since I gave my poor little Nimbus (Cycle) a bath and so decided to wash it today before going to events. So this CRUEL alarm at 3.30 AM. The event was to volunteer in marina beach @ 5.30 AM and I planned to start from home at 4.30 AM. But unfortunately, clean up took more time than expected and I got ready by 4.45 only and made a quick start.

Called up Surya, Gurubaran, Pavithra as they are also joining and they were already ready.

Though I started late, my clean oiled cycle and zero traffic in early morning helped me to reach the spot at 5.25 AM. Started with blessing from my Grandpa, The Legend, Gandhiji and jumped into the event, while other `Thozhan`s were on their way.

Be the change, you wish to see in the world !

Running for Eureka Child Foundation

It was a massive running event organised by `Eureka Child Foundation` as a fundraiser campaign to support for Educational requirements for deserving students in villages of Tamil Nadu. A very noble cause, indeed.

"Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.Teach a man to fish and he will eat for lifetime";Whereas these people are teaching our Children to build a Fishing Boat !

We went to a eureka organizer to get some tasks assigned. Myself and Gurubaran were told to hold the banners; Surya and Pavithra were to distribute water to runners. We went to our positions and started our work, meanwhile other Thozhan's Rajesh Kanna, Muthu Vijayan, Radhakrishnan, Yazhini, Hitesh Empower, Karthik Pandy and all other joined and took up some task :-)
Runners ready to GO

Coffee with Gurubaran :P

Myself and Guru focused on keeping the banner straight for everyone's view and we focused nothing else, except for the one thing :-) It was DD, Divya Darshini who came to inaugurate the event. Initially, there was too much crowd around her and we couldn't even get a glimpse of her. We tried jumping and did all our martial art techniques but in vein. Guru was telling to me, "Anna DD ah vara sollittu, nammala ipdi oorama banner pudikka vechittangale".

Event started, whistle blown, and runners started racing. Then news channels came in and are about to interview DD and they needed some nice background for the shoot. Guess what? They picked our banner as a good background; DD and everyone else came near us and she was like a arm distance away from us. Guru was soo emotional and almost crying :P

Everyone was taking snaps with her and I know guru would be expecting the same. But for his (super star) status, he can't go and ask her. Things should happen around and it happened. DD managed to have a "Coffee with Guru" session and here is the proof (Warning: This paragraph might be twisted for reader's interest and might be faaar away from Truth)
Eppudi ??? Seee, she is looking at my Cam of all :) :P

Dip in the Ocean

Event over by 7 AM as planned, other Thozhan's were busy with post event activities. So the Fantastic Four (Me, Surya, Guru, Pavithra) went to beach, but only once decided to swim in Tsunami and yeah that's me :-) Been months since I had fun in sea and got bunch of time before I attend to next event. So prepared myself and jumped in the water. This is the epic moment of the whole day :-D

Then we left around 7.45. Next is to Isha nursery, Kodungaiyur for Sapling distribution event. We were fully energetic after the rest in Beach and started with full swing. Surya told they will come in bike slowly in par with my cycle speed, so we go together. Half way through beach road, the disaster happened. My cycle got punctured; All of us were upset!
This is LIFE !!!

Made it to Kodungaiyur atlast !

Then we made up our mind and decided to part. Surya / Guru will go to nursery, and get things ready for distribution. Arun Prasad will join them there directly. Meanwhile, I am to fix my cycle and go there asap.

Thanks to Ashok Rajendran / Pavithra for remote assisting to find cycle shop in mylapore, in sunday morning. Got my nimbus fixed and flied to Kodungaiyur. But time was 10.45 already

Surya spoke to sapling requesters, packed the requested saplings, and also bought Bovonto bottle for volunteers. Perfect organizing, I would say :-)
Saplings ready for Distribution

Distribution starts and Bus Chase

Myself and Arun are assigned to just 2 requests nearby nursery and in Manali. Since its doubles now, we switched pedalling and shared the honor (of pedalling my Nimbus). We distributed 5 saplings to 2 people and now its time to return.

Arun was pedalling to Manali bus stand and we were discussing on how he would go back, what bus to catch, where to go to CMBT / Park / Central. Suddenly, we noticed a bus to Guindy I.E. crossing us in opposite direction and I was shouting "Arun, Arun, there a direct bus goes" ..... "Bus we missed it" ....

"Anna wait, we can chase it and catch", Arun

"Hard, but shall we try?", Sai

A fellow citizen watching us shouted at us, "Dai stupids, stop speaking and start chasing. There are 3 big speed breakers before next stop. Bus will go very slowly, you shall definitely catch".

That Zen Moment occured !! :P

We reveresed and Arun chased like anything and you know what? we chased it down and he boarded the bus. Hurraayyy (y)

Next Target: Choolaimedu and Disaster No. 2

I am to meet a good friend, Venky sir in Choolaimedu by 2 PM to discuss on some RTI / civic projects. Had a lemon juice in manali for energy boost and started pedalling at full swing. I was crossing Mathur, when I felt something not right in my cycle seat. I stopped the cycle and tried to adjust the seat, but the seat literally came off the cycle. Wow, why Nimbus is doing all this today to me ! I kept it as it is and started pedalling, since not much time to find a cycle shop and fix it.

A call came, stopped, attended it and lifted my leg to sit on. Then Disaster No. 2 happened.

"DAAARRRR". My pant tore in the back for nearly 15 cms :-( :-(

WTH !!!

Why all this in a single today???

Mind Voice, "Calm down, Calm down. You just dont get down hereafter. Just keep pedalling and no one would notice". But still I am to meet Venky sir, what to do?

Called up Thanikavel, Sudan to get some emergency pant, but they were not available. Then Nirmal Lakshman jumped in for rescue. Got a pant from him in Anna Nagar Roundtana. But where I would make the switch? Dont know !

Change Plan: Direct to CSS Office

Called up Venky sir and told the scenario and we postponed our meet to evening. So, I shall now go to CSS office for the "Child Abuse Prevention" meeting and change myself there. Reached CSS office early @ 3.15 PM, since the previous meet was postponed. Pon Murugan was there already and he opened the office. Changed myself to new pants of Nirmal and WHAT A RELIEF !!!!!!!!

Kanchan, Venkat, Swami sir, Sasi, Ashwin, Pavithra, Akshyaa, Charu, Rathi mam and many others came in. Few bought in their parents. After several longs years, first initiative on `Child Abuse Prevention`, thanks to the initiative of Kanchan and Pon Murugan who joined her in preparing the presentation materials. It was more of the casual discussion with the parents rather than a formal seminar session and it was good and enlightening. Surprise visit by Kothandapani. More on the session will be posted in CSS blog and will provide the link to it, once its up.

Special thanks to Ashwin / Kanchan for Chocolate distribution :-) Yummy, it was :-)

Then cycled back to home, dropping Pon Murugan while on the way. Home, sweet home, my comfort zone! Much tired also. So called up Venky sir, explained my status and postponed meet to wednesday !

Angular.js Online Course for Traffic Violation Portal (TVP)

Then had dinner and finished an online lesson in Angular.js (and got a badge), that I am studying for Traffic Violation Portal front end development. Thasnim, our PHP developer for TVP and a good friend who was working on server development pinged me and we had a mini hangout meet on the server work.

Things were awesome today, except for Disaster No. 1 and Disaster No. 2,  But then again, it is life right? both ups and downs. It would have been complete and fully satisfied, If myself and Venky sir got to meet. Just that thing missed, otherwise, a good looong day it is :-) :-D (y)

Being at the edge of the Comfort Zone itself is feeling awesome, how cool it would be when we get out !!!
My role model Peter Van Geit in this regard :-)

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Happy Birthday Misa :-) :-D

To the dream of my night,
To the life of my day,
To the vision of my Eye,
To the beat of my Heart,
To the Soul of my Life,

Wish you a Happy Happy Happy Birthday... :-)
Wishing you a happiest, fulfilled, satisfied Life :D (y)

#BeHappy #FriendForEver #NeverLostFrienship

In some perspectives, 3 years seems like an Era.. In some perspectives, the storm that happened 3 years before seems it happened just 3 days back and still I could feel the HANG OVER.

Deeply wish from the bottom of my heart, you moved miles away from the dark times and living happily somewhere in the Universe...

And you Buffalo, I know YOU WERE FOLLOWING MY BLOG !!! Not sure what happened now !!!

I am still the same person and guess, I will be the same for next 3 decades.. Your Life, Your Decision, Your Hands... Whatever it is, I will stand with you, no matter what (as always) !!!
Feel free to contac, anytime for anything :-D :-)

- Kira (Not L), the one who failed Justice once, but will never now !!!

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Did YOU called me?


Tring Tring... Tring Tring... !

It was some unknown number and I picked up the phone.

"Hello Sai"... A familiar, long forgotten Voice that shook my whole body. I couldn't believe myself. All my emotional thoughts confirmed that It is `you`. My rational thoughts nowhere to be found, completely out of picture.

"Hello AG", I said in a trembling voice.

"Woow Sai, You found me :-) I feel very very happy for that. How are you?"

"I am good", I had so many questions to ask, (billions of things may be), but in the state of excitement that I am in, nothing turned into words. That's when my rationale peeked in and started telling me that I am in a Dream, as the possibility of this Call is very negligible, not Zero though !!!

"How is mom?", you asked.

"She is great. and How are you AG?"

"Yeah, I am also good Sai"

The discussion continued but it was `you` enquiring about me, our mutual friends, my job and other things. I was so mesmerized that I was just answering all your questions and nothing else. My rationale was crying aloud to wake me up, he couldn't believe on the circumstances. But I consciously turned it off, not caring for the truth and just living the minutes. But also, it felt 100% real, it was a real call, a real conversation.

Not even 5 minutes into the call, you told, "Ok Sai. Thanks for remembering me still :-) I am very happy to speak with you. Catch you later"

"Oh WAIT... How about you? What you doing? Still in hometown or came to Chennai? Tell me about yourself", I asked.

"Haa Sai. Thanks for asking. But I got to go now and Sai I just called you as a good friend and nothing more. Hope you remember why", you exclaimed.

"Haa... I just asked about you very casually and nothing more. Ok you carry on. Shall we speak tomorrow? Shall I call you tomorrow, the same time?"

"yeah Sai.. Will call you tomorrow myself. You dont call me back"

BEEP! Call over!!!

Took the phone to my front, staring at the phone, Trying to comprehend the unbelievable thing, that just happened. Posed a serious challenge to my rationale, "Now you justify me, why is this a dream?". Was looking around myself, where I am standing. what I am doing. Everything seemed fit, but still my rationale, "What If this is a realistic dream, that you could believe only after waking up. No worries, If thats the case, you will soon find out. Otherwise, I will completely abide by your will, you decisions".

My Emotionale, "Hello people. You forgot me. What if this is a dream, but its her thoughts that is being conveyed to you in your dream via Telepathy / ESP or whatever you call it? You rationale, you and your Science are still centuries or even millennia backward, when it comes to understanding the brain, the thoughts. You people focus much on searching outside universe and not the inner Universe."

My Rationale, "Ha. I agree and let me give you a solution in this situation. You try to convey her that you received her call / communication / thoughts and send your contacts again, Phone, Mail, FB, everything and wait till she contacts back for 2nd time. You shall do 2 things to convey; Drop in a mail to all those bunch of mail IDs and write in ur blog and share it online. There is a high possibility that she might be following you online".

Then I continued with my day till evening, only to find out a little later that it was actually Sunday morning and that I am in my bed.

LOL !!!

But anyways, here is goes again...


I couldn't stop laughing at my Rationale for it failed a simple, effective Idea, "to look at the number and write it in the heart, so I couldn't forget it, whichever world my soul travels to..."

Feeling Hopeful... !!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

A Lonely Masturbator - Part 2

... Continuation of Part 1 ...

Internet Connection @ Home

Though I had Computer @ home since 8th Standard, I did nothing but gaming and exploring new softwares. It was in 10th Standard that I got Internet Connection in home. Till that point, it was not much difficult for me to stay away from all the `Internet Fantasies`, that my friends were exploring.

All the time from 7th standard, I was very eager to see all those `sex pictures` in Internet. More than the pictures of `Sexual activity`, I was interested in pictures of girls :-) But I restrained for 2 reasons:

  1. I believed to be a sin.
  2. I had a `Image` that I a `good boy`, who don't watch these stuff, nor even speak on this.
And I am very proud of myself, for being moral and not watching those stuffs in Internet, unlike my other friends.

But once I got Internet at home, big confusions started. My curiosity were over ruling Point 1 and I know for sure, no one would know, If I just visited `sex sites` in home :-) and I can definitely retain my `Good Boy` Image :-)

Wait for 8 Years

The Internal mind battle started whether to just watch the sex sites (atleast once) OR be a good boy and evade this thoughts altogether !!! But the good boy WON with one big self assurance. I was studying 10th by then. 11th, 12th, 4 years of college and 2 years of work, totaling to 8 years. So I promised myself to wait for 8 years, after which I would some how get married and can morally explore SEX with a real girl :-) wow, wow.. awesome awesome :-)

Whenever the intent to watch the sites arise in my mind, I used to say myself, "Just 8 years more. Let's wait. Let's wait. Let's wait !!!" Also I thought of the possibilities of persuading mom and dad to arrange my marriage immediately I am done with College. But also felt very shameful on how I am going to start speaking this topic in home !!!

So, even after getting Internet @ home, I remained just a gamer and also a `good boy` :-)

FTV - The Dream Channel

Apart from Internet sex sites, there was a home remedy. A TV Channel with adult content, namely FTV. Friends used to watch that also and used to discuss on that. As usual, I had the urge to watch FTV, but restrained myself from watching it.

One weekend, both mom and dad was not in home and a friend came to my home. He asked me "Sai, shall we watch FTV? Don't worry, its not at all like those Internet sites. Its just some girls walk through the stage"

I strictly said "No".

But he got the remote from me and switched on the TV and was searching for the Channel. I am trying to convince him not to watch it and trying to get remote from him. We were arguing and on the other hand, he found the channel, FTV and said "YES".

Then he pleaded me, "Sai, If you dont want to see, be it. But please, please da.. Let me watch it, Its a very rare opportunity for me da." I was arguing to change the channel, but he never listened. So I turned away from the TV, took a book and started reading it, letting him continue.

New School, New Life, New Adventures

For 11th Standard, I joined a new school and it was our first `Computer Lab` session. We are all standing in line to go to lab. A friend standing beside me, asked me something,

"Sai, Do you know how to use computer?"

I replied, "yeah da... How about you?"

"I only know how to open Internet and see `bit` films", he said and continued, "Other than that I know nothing da... You teach me. okay?"

"okay", I just giggled outside, while stomach is burning Inside, Thinking to myself, "Even in this school, people watch it. Why not me??? NO. Never. Now its just 7 years", I assured myself.

Couple of months passed in new school and friended everyone there. Then I started preaching to my friends that `sex` is wrong and watching such sites is sinful and discouraged them from watching it and be a good boy. Most wont argue with me except a very couple of guys and one among them was always supportive of Sex.

We used to have discussions on this. I tried persuading him that Sex is Sin, while he tried persuading me that Sex is Life. He stood his ground very strongly, so did I.

First Sex Video

We used to hangout in a friend's home after school, in the name of studies. We study very few days, and on most other days, we used to play games in computer and just chit chat.

One fine day, I went to his home early than the other guys. He told me that he had a very cool video. I asked him what it is? He didn't tell me, but he opened some folders in his system and opened a video. He seeked to the middle of the video.

I was interested on what it could be and watching it. For a dozen of seconds, I couldn't understand what's is being shown in the screen. I was thinking and trying to figure out what it is. Then when I understood the things, I felt very disgusting, felt like vomiting and closed the Video Player !!

It was a scene of Anal sex, shot at close up (when I didn't understand what it is) and slowly being zoomed out (when things become more clearer).

I exploded, shouted at him angrily and left his home. On reaching my home, I couldn't stop thinking on that. I couldn't focus on anything else. Even the games couldn't turn away my attention from those dozen seconds of frames.

Couldn't resist Anymore

I had a very mixed feeling. I felt both disgusted on watching the act, but more interested on seeing a girl nude. I felt the urge to watch it again, but without that guy doing those disgusting acts. That day, whole night I was thinking, "how to get another chance"?

I really wanted to watch it again. But was thinking what he will think of me, what others think of me? My own Image (as a good boy) stands in my way now !!!

Couple of days passed. I couldn't resist anymore. Without much thought, I asked him while in school, that If we could watch `it` again. I also requested (almost begged) him not to tell anyone. He agreed!!! I was soooo happy from the bottom of my heart and felt like I am going to heaven :-D

After school, I visited his home. I told him that I dont like to watch that guy, but only that girl. He started the video, but we couldn't watch fully as his mom was in home, working in the kitchen and she might come to our room anytime. We saw from the beginning. IT WAS AWESOME. The girl slowly removing her clothes and revealing herself. WOW. I FELT LIKE IT WAS THE GOLDEN PERIOD OF MY LIFE. No words could express that satisfaction, that happiness, that feeling. It was sooo awesome, watching it for the first time in my life.

Because of the circumstances, we couldn't watch it fully, not even 5 minutes. But those couple of minutes, I felt awesome. He also promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone. I felt happy, fulfilled and also much guiltier. So I promised myself that I have experienced it once and so I should wait next 7 years till the real thing happen. No more videos till that.

More to Come...

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Elections 2014 - Excited and saddened about it !!!

Its almost 3 years since I casted (wasted) my first vote. Its been a long time, but looks very short. At that time I had no hope on any parties and hence my decision to opt for 49-O. The general population  seems to vote for a party, which seems to be lesser evil than the other. Of course, the party which seemed to be lesser evil, gets switched every term. But I was very clear on my decision that I should never go for such logic; If some party is evil, however lesser it might be, I decided not to support it. Also I promised myself that I should do my R & D on Individual candidates next time and If I could find any genuine and honest person with good Intent, I should vote for them.

In past 3 years - India Against Corruption

We all seen IAC movement and Anna Hazare became my role model. Myself, Bharat Kumar, Alexraj and Rooban Ponraj went to fasting venues on our weekends and supported the movement to our own capacity. I was deeply touched, moved on seeing a whole bunch of people fasting for the goodness of my country. I never thought this much of people cared for my country and I was proved wrong. I felt sooo happy from the bottom of my heart.

Though I had a good understanding of what the movement is about, the Jan Lok Pal is about, I never understood it fully. I couldn't answer (very few) people who is against it, who questioned the Jan Lok Pal. I couldn't answer myself on how it will be different from current systems like CBI, etc., But I turned myself little blind towards that. Though I never had a complete picture, I believed it (blindly) since so much people came to the streets for it, It should be the `Magic Wand` that gonna accelerate my country's growth by fixing on Corruption.

Explorations on RTI and revelation of a Clean Party, Lok Satta Party !!!

When myself and Alex started exploring the RTI and started Adyar and Cooum River RTI project, we got contacted by a guy Ashok Rajendran via online. We decided to meet up with him, when he briefed us on Lok Satta Party. I was very much excited and also skeptic (as always) on hearing about LSP and started R & D on them online. I read through their reforms, their previous works, about Dr. Jayaprakash Narayan, just their tag line "New Politics for a New Generation" and it was seemed very genuine and motivational.

A bell rand inside my head, that my search for a clean honest party came to an end, with the Intro of Lok Satta Party :-) I decided that I will be voting for them next time and not 49-O. Then myself and Alexraj visited their office, participated in certain meetings and was really motivated to see a bunch of youngsters (some from IT) doing social work through a clean party.

I never spoke or even though about Politics before in a curious way. For me, Politics was a Dead Sewage that one should be away from. But Dr. JP's words
"Answer to Bad Politics is Good Politics, Not No Politics"
Those words resonated in mind and then it seemed very obvious and so right for me. Then I realized Politics is not a garbage, but current people in it (speaking of majority). Changing this scenario is very much possible, but its just that clean, honest people need to join hands.

The Big Wave, AAP

Then somehow, I read this news on some guy named Arvind Kejriwal, who is collecting signed petitions from Delhi residents saying that "they wont pay electric bills as they are so damned high" and submitting all the petitions to the Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dixit. He was speaking openly on nexus between the Delhi CM and Electric Companies in Delhi. The number of petitions collected, which is in millions really inspired me and I started watching this guy CLOSELY.

Then only I read that he was one of the master mind behind IAC. Anna Hazare is only the public face, but there were around 10 people behind the scenes and Arvind Kejriwal is one of them. AK's connection with IAC motivated me to the skies. I felt awesome for its not just LSP, but also AAP now. But AAP is not in TN yet. They focused only on Delhi and that is good for them, I believed.

Delhi Elections - PURE AWESOMENESS !!!

Delhi Elections were nearing and I was so excited and closely following Politics. For the first time in my life, I started watching NEWS, started reading Newspapers and that too on Politics !!! Added a guy in Delhi via FB and getting updates from him on what's happening at Ground Zero. Elections were over and I was biting nails and my mom too. Yes, she also got much inspired by AAP and Arvind Kejriwal, by the idea that Clean Politics where all donations are posted online is possible and not a distant dream.

I was wishing from my heart that at least AK wins against Sheila Dixit and AAP gets atleast a couple of seats. The results came out and IT WAS TRULY MINDBLOWING. AAP got 28 of 70 seats. Myself and Mom were dancing together that day, we celebrated the victory of a Common Man. For me, Kejriwal represented "Unnai Pol Oruvan Kamal" in real life !!!

That's me and Mom :-)

49 Days

Each day was a complete excitement. I was following them day by day, their every moves and I felt like my days were never better before. Fulfilling their promises, making marvelous moves against BJP and Congress. LSP's tagline "New Politics for New Generation" fit well with AAP.

One monday morning, I woke up at 5 AM and logged into FB and shocked to see my hero, Kejriwal sleeping in road asking the Police Control in that early morning in Delhi. Tears shed !!! OTHA, What a man he is !!! He is truly a Messiah, the saviour !!!

Then Jan Lokpal is about to be passed. The Most exciting time of all. But the uncertain situation turned unfortunate, since the other parties protested against Jan Lokpal and shown 0 intent in letting the Bill get passed. Unexpectedly (atleast for me), AAP government resigned stating that "They took power to serve people to pass right bills and If they can't do it, then no point in being in power. They told that will come back in full majority and pass the bill".

This logic was not acceptable by me (with my small knowledge and varied twisted sense of Justice). It was a major disappointment for me. There were also other minor conflicts with my own logic and Kejriwal's logic. But those didn't matter much. But resigning!! I simply couldn't accept it.


Though there were minor and major conflicts with my personal opinion and AAP's moves, there was no option of moving away from AAP. Since they are one of the honest Elf that I found in the horde of Orcs.

Couple of my friends started picking on AAP and I couldn't defend AAP to the fullest in the discussions with them, since I myself has conflicts with their moves.

On Freebies

When people blame on Electricity and Water schemes passed by AAP, I just couldn't stand !!! As an Individual, I can buy my domestics needs like TV, Fridge, Mixie, Cycle, Bike; but things like Water source, Electric Source, Road Infrastructure can't be handled by individuals and that is why Government is setup and they take care of those.

When parties do provide the former domestic appliances through Populistic schemes, there is little fuss about it. But when AAP government takes care of the latter, which they are supposed to be, people go Insane !!!

On Resignation

Its not just you. I was also hurt by this decision of Resignation, for following their words 100% like a machine, for not being flexible in our damned reality. But this doesn't make them evil in any ways, in any perspective. But it made them better. It was a crystal clear message that they don't care about power, that I already believed in. But its a strong message to those AAP skeptics.

Now What?

I was trying to talk to people and make them understand that the above things doesn't make AAP evil and make BJP any better than AAP. But its just some people can't understand it seems.

I am yet to decide between LSP / AAP. But I am very happy that I still with my logic of not to vote for lesser evil and I got 2 golden gems to support for. But again its very unfortunate that AAP / LSP didnt get to work together, though their ideologies are so similar. Is It AAP's ego? May be.. But thats another topic of discussion.

and yes, It hurts me badly, when people call AAP a failure or even worst, call Arvind Kejriwal, a psycho / Dharna CM, but don't stop your words. Keep reciting them, its just that I need to take things easily !!!


India is a very vast country and I feel sad for people voting for MODI, believing he alone can change the whole world, not caring about the other party members !!!

Some MODI Supporter, please try to understand this and answer yourself:
Modi's 70% of Twitter followers are fake account with random name, default profile pic, no tweets, no followers. WHY IS THAT? Is Modi Good or Evil ?

Let all my political frustrations out, now that I shall sleep well, I believe !!!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

A Lonely Masturbator - Part 1

Gaming vs Browsing

I was studying 7th Standard (probably in the year 2001). Yuvaraj, Makesh and myself used to go to nearby Computer Center (VKGB Internet) to play Video games (most of the time, Doom). We used to give money to the cafe owner for an hour and say "game". He will make us sit in a system and there will be game icons in Desktop. Clicking on them open up the game. Those times, we had no idea on what Desktop, Icon and My Computer are.
I still remember my friend Karthik who opened up "My Computer" accidentally and found 3.5 Floppy drive in it and told me. I was so curious to explore it, but didnt have guts to open it myself for some time.
But there comes few people who pay more or less the same money and say "Browsing". Then both the customer and owner puts up a weird smile in their faces. The owner makes them sit in a system, just like he do with us, except he closes the curtain behind them. By that time, I was little curious on what "Browsing" is about, but the moment I enter into the Centre, my mind get sooo filled with Doom, that I forget everything else.

But after some time, I remember one Sunday, when I went there alone and asked the Cafe owner, what "Browsing" is about. Is it even more gory, action game or what? He smiled at me and told that I will get to know about it later and for now, to continue with games. Little disappointed, I came back.

Tales of Online Nudity

Back in school, few of my friends started telling tales of completely NUDE girls that they see in Computer Centers. As time passes, "FEW" turned to "MOST". Most of my friends had at least one experience with this online things. Few shared it openly and few hide it, for they felt shame and feel it as a sin.

I was much curious on this. I wanted to see nude girls myself (and their funny naughty activities that my friends describe), atleast just once, but some how, I know ITS A SIN and I refrained from it. I even controlled myself from hearing the tales that my friends tell. Some even forced me to hear things, but I did my level best to be away from these sinful things and be good (in my early perspective).

Even my neighborhood friends started telling similar stories. But as a good boy, I always advised them not to see these wrong things in Internet, for it is SIN to do so.

But all this hype created by my friends, indirectly answered me one thing. What "browsing" in VKGB is all about !!!

My thoughts on SEX

I was a big religious, god-believing boy at those times (My recent friends might not believe it. But that is how I was in my child hood) and I clearly know by my heart that SEX IS SIN. I didnt even had guts to spell the word S. E. X at those times.

But as a enthusiastic kid, I try to learn and gain knowledge on all things starting from God, Earth, Universe, Stars, Sky, to Sex. Those times, I even had a wonderful model of earth, which is both Spherical and Flat, when my idea of UP/DOWN is screwed by my excellent (get mark, no knowledge) Education system.
Believe me or not, I havn't had much thoughts on Sex those times. But I always wondered on the "First Night", "How babies are formed?". Every time, I see the following sequence in any movie:
A girl takes a glass (or Sombu) of milk and enters a room with a nice bed decorated with flowers, and our Hero waiting inside. Nice music starts, "nam thana, nam thana,... ". But suddenly, either the light goes off, or either they shut the door.
I was like "WHAT THE FUCK !!! What do they do after that?". It remained a BIG SUSPENSE for long years. But just like my spherical flat Earth model, I had a theory of what they will be doing in First Night, which evolved bit by bit, until I got to know the real picture, several years later.

  1. Theory 1: The couple will kiss the whole night and the girl will get baby after 10 months from her Stomach (probably by cutting through operation)
  2. Theory 2: They also hug each other tightly and the girl will get baby after 10 months.
  3. Theory 3: They probably, get off their clothes, hug tightly and kiss. (Though this is hard for myself to believe first, few tips from the stories told by my friends made this to be a logical conclusion) This is the theory I believed for long time.

First time hearings on Masturbation

Myself and few other friends went to a common friend's home to play. We went to terrace and started chatting. When one guy said, "Guys. Listen to me, Important matter. One bro nearby my house told me.... !!! When you shake your Kunju (Penis in Tamil) vigorously for like 30 minutes something white will come out of it."

Other friend, "dai naaye, nalla oru full bottle water kudi, automaticca you will get Urine in sometime" (Dog, Drink one full bottle water and you will get Urine automatically)

The Enlightened: "Loose I am not talking about Urine. But something else, some sort of liquid."

Others, "Cut your crap".

As for myself, I never engage in such talks and I believed it not moral and I might go to hell !!!

But the curiosity in me is taking over me. I want to know more, get more knowledge on all this things, wanted to experiment myself first.

My First Masturbation (in Vain)

I dont even know the term Masturbation nor the Tamil equivalent of it. But I wanted to experiment and find if what the Enlightened told is true. But I was thinking If its right to try out such experiments? what if its wrong? Am I supposed to touch down there for reasons other than Urinating and washing during bath? What if Mom or dad found out? What If my friends came to know about this? Sooo much questions? But I know I can execute this plan without anyone'e knowledge and I promised myself that I will do this just once, just for the sake of experiment.

One fine day, I go to Toilet when no one is in home, takes out my Jhonny from my trousers and started shaking it. But then a doubt arises, Should I do up/down or sideways. DAMN !!! The enlightened friend didnt told about that and it didnt strike me before. Not a problem. Let me try in all ways. But as time goes, the curiosity level goes down and fear and guilty factors rise. I remember him say 30 minutes. But not even 10 minutes passed, I got so tense and stopped the experiment as I was so frightened and also could see nothing happening.

But I was not disappointed, as I concluded that my friend is not Enlightened and the mistake is on me for believing him and did an insanely EVIL, SINFUL, stupid act.

PS: As its obvious for me that I have enough content to write 10 posts on this topic, I am stopping here. Will continue in upcoming posts.

Old Content Posted first on (8/12/2013)

At the start of this year, I wrote few posts on the so called Indian Culture. In the same spirit, I also had much to share on few things, which is considered Taboo in my country, but which plays a vital role in the life of people of my age.

But I had absolutely zero guts to write on it. Still I don't feel confident on writing this. Thats why this  empty post with the RIGHT TITLE.

Hope I will get enough courage soon, to write on this topic :-) :D