All the best in your new Adventues, Arun Esthack !!!


Pani Puri Trademark

I was sleeping. Few friends rushed in to home. My mom welcomed them happily, hoping they would help her in her crisis to wake me up, as I was sleeping from morning without even having my lunch and all her attempts to wake me up was in vein. I dont remember exactly who are all came that day, but 2 of them were Ramakrishnan and Arun Esthack (Satti). They tortured me, calling my name, pinching me trying to wake me up. Completely frustrated, I woke up and upon frustration, I took a water bottle, opened it and poured it all over Arun, drenching him completely and went back to sleep again. Totaly frustrated with me they also left my home. But later only I came to know it was Ramakrishnan who did all evil things to wake me up.





Next day, Arun seems upset with me and was not speaking to me. While going home I asked him If he could drop me, no response. I asked him If he is angry, again no response. Satti never got angry and behaved like this, but what I did the previous day is also not acceptable. So I asked sorry, but satti didnt say anything. I begged him, he remained the same. Then I told him, there is no point in being like this, things messed up and I am sorry for it. Lets go home together and on the way we will have Pani Puri, which I will sponsor (spnsor is a word that never comes out of my mouth easily). And surprisingly he smiled and we went together thay day and I kept my promise. That day Pani Puri became one of the trade mark for him.

A Fellow Gamer

A fellow gamer, with whom I shared most of my gaming accomplishments, same is the case with him, from GLTron, Crash, RCT, MK4, Gubble Buggy Racer, AOE, Gothic (the term gothic always brings Arun and Mahesh) to my mind, Resident evil, Oblivion, Last Chaos, PWI, to name a VERY FEW. We shared all our glorious moments in the virutal worlds with each other. But you always went overboard with things, not managing your time properly, not sleeping well, speaking ur meals (only for gaming). Early 3AM wake ups to check the Trading Agent Roy in LC, when the noob Arun Balaji would be sleeping. Could never forget those things. But you always were a mighty warrior who killed me PvP, when you were 2 levels lower than me, and progressed to such high levels in LC, which I could never think of. A skillfull DoTA player. Sorry da, you know the reasons why I couldnt play DoTA. Its not for me. Very few AoE multiplayer / Counter Strike 1.6 / Call of Duty 2 matches that we played, could never forget those. Apart from games, we shared interests in Anime, though I speak a lot, I never could stand near your knowledge of Anime / Games, though you speak very little. You could name all Captains (in Bleach) with their Zanpakuto names and many others, but you were humble all times and dont speak much.


Childhood

I remember ur daily savings with me for Rs. 100 to buy Kite stuffs, out of which I took Rs. 5 as my commission. The note in which we wrote our this transaction are still safe with me. Then You begging me / beating me / following my trail perfectly in cycle to play games in my home. Your interests and contribution to Pay n Play. Me (the lean) driving you (the gigantic) in cycle, when others (Karthik i remeber) tell that I am running circus show. Your excitements about your first HCL system, then your upgrades to play Gothic 3, your addiction over DoTA. Its in college days that I came to know about your religious views and it was a bit surprising for me by then. I always thought of you as a firm God believer. But when you told me you give no crap about religion, I was surprised and happy to have another guy onboard. But also you were not a active atheist who fights with people regarding the same. Ofcourse, its not at all your nature.

I still get laugh from the bottom of my stomach when remembering the day where you told that we will checkout Google Earth later, as its too cloudy now. All your logical fallacies and your embarassing reaction after that, especially with computer trouble shooting / graphics card performance. Yuvaraj kidding you with your dialogues. Your friend Gnani / Supini.



I cant forgive you for all ur tortures with your programming works, from your College Project on Nuclear Plant, your recent .Net / Web Service works and many more. I am just kidding, I am very glad to be at your service, my xWarlordx. I am very very sorry for the 1.5 years fight with you for such a silly thing over the GTA San Andreas DVD. Now, it seems utter silly of me. Sorry da. Here I should thank Yuvaraj very much for his effort in breaking our fight and uniting our friendship again. After we stopped speaking to each other, I was playing Oblivion and only I know how much I missed you at those times. A big vast territory with numerious things hapenning around but no one to share it. Ofcourse, I had a few people, but no one matches you in gaming arena. But its my fucking ego, which made me stop from speaking to you. I feel sorry for all those da. I thought of speaking about it later, but I didnt and I never will get a chance hereafter.

Recent Events:

Still I couldnt believe as you are the one who used to advice me all the times on various issues. But am very angry on you for certain things. How many times I tortured you to hear my story / my problems, asking you the possibilities, solutions, your thoughts even though you hate me doing all this after a certain limit. Even after you told me to stop things and you couldnt support me, I never stopped asking (torturing) you, saying this will be the last time (which I said dozens of times). Even in our last tour, I shared few things which you heard for my sake, though you dont like hearing. Thats what my whole fucking point is. You could have called me, told me / shared with me atleast anything. If not me, Arun Balaji, Prabhu, Yuvaraj, Karthik, Bharath or anyone. Dont you believe in any of us? I dont understand whether its our mistake or urs? What we should have done to made you trusted us with your hard feelings, to made you speak outside? I dont know...
Even on Diwali, you told me about your broadband problem, but not any other things. You damn fool !!!



I wish...

I wish you decided this with a clear state of mind. I wish you were very sure about this for whatever reasons you had, rather than this being your emotional act. I believe its a person's free will to decide. There is no point in living for the sake of living without any interest. If you see no point, then fine.  I too had came to this point once. Ofcourse, it was emotional thought at first. But when I put my mind into it, thinking of the consequences, I got so many reasons to go on. Reasons both for myself and for others, I had responsibilites from which I cant escape easily. I wish this decision is because you ran out of reasons, rather than not thinking at all. Its your life, its your wish, its your decision. Hope you also thought of mom and her state. I fucking dont understand what made you take such a decision if you had given thought to all this. It seems more like a emotional decision without much thought, but I wish its not.

I believe you enjoyed yourselves all the time doing thinkgs that you liked, eating junks that you liked, spending time with games / films and occasionally with friends and were happy and lived as you wish, maybe except for the last few days.

I also wish some of the philosopies/theories to be true now. That we all are in a dream, Universe is nothing but a simulation. So you just woke up / or moved on to another dimension / living on, where we all will come soon. I wish after life to be true, where you just reached by now, exploring your new world curiosly by this time as we do with any new game. As always I wish you the best with your new adventure. Its so depressing to think Death is the end of all. I hail all Theists here for their 'After Life' concept. Its so refreshing and ease the pain. If at all you get any time / chance to revisit your old world, I guess I will be one of few, whom you might be interested in seeing. I will be happy If at all you got chance to read this, but dont get hard feelings. If you are reading this, then probably we all will be there with you. Hope no need to explain you the logic, as you faired well enough in understanding the logic behind 'Inception'. Here is one quest for you: Try to find my 'Zanpakto' and ther I have more notes for you and you are supposed to read notes only address to you, not any others. But it doesnt matter now, even If you read all. If you could read my mind, that would be great and instantaneous.

You might have quitted from this dimension, but you will always be alive and cool in all our meta-worlds inside our minds, from where we will never let you to sign off... Because servers are in our control, haha :-) You gave me big motivation to reflect upon myself in a good different perspective, I got better answers to my age old questions, in the process of getting appropriate answers to few other questions. Speak to my Zanpakto for more info. Want to write a lot more, but I guess already I wrote a lot.

Thanks for being a part of my adventure and played a good role in it :-) I miss you :-) Take Care da Satti (Arun Esthack), Bye :-)

You have such a great smile. When I think of you, I want only this image or any other happy smiling Arun to come to my mind. So only I didnt attended your funeral da. I dont think you expect any formality from me and you should be okay with it...